untitled

It's 3:52 in the morning, yet I can't go to bed. There are thousands of things flashing back and forth in my head. Between my brain and my self, I don't think it has the connection anymore. The week has been a tough one to bear. At the end of the day, I was restless and counting at the clock. Staring at it as it ticks its way around. I keep reaching to find anything that is close to me, gazing at it. Trying to find something less lifeless than my self, who's been lying on my bed for quite sometime and feeling numb all over.

Then I felt a pang of unpleasantness washing through my body, and everything went rigid for a second. It gives me a moment of panic, but then I realized that there's nothing else I could do about it. I hold my breath, as the moment passes by, I know, I know, I have to let it all go. As I exhale i feel something heavy swirling down to the tip of my toes. What went wrong?

I woke up at 5:23 AM, all sweaty with heart rates faster than a bullet train. My breath was short and I feel like I'm back to the reality. From a short nightmare that have been haunting me all week. The truth is, I don't really know which world are better for me at this moment. They both are sending me warning signs.

I want to get out, yet something pulls me in and I'm stuck in between. I sat on my floor Thinking. But my brain won't compromise. Its frozen. I rest my head onto the wall and cry, maybe if I let it out then I would feel better.